TATTOOS and REINCARNATION: WELCOME BACK SERGEANT.

Grandpa told me when I was a kid: Two types of people have Tattoos (1) Convicts (2) Military.

With ink culture growing among 60% of ALL girls/women in America as they purchase visible tattoos compared to 40% of ALL men, we have to stop the bus and take 5. I mean, really. Is there some sort of alien acid trip shift going on with the sexes?

We once had an overnighter with a nice ‘all-American girl’: She seemed to have it all together, then the shirt came off. BLAMO!!! It was like she got drunk and had an even drunker tattoo ‘artist wanna-be’ slam a faded slop job, like blue-black vomit, all over her abs. She wasn’t covering up a C-section or some creepy parasitic twin face, so why ruin the bod? And hell & bother, a friend met a woman at a grocery store where they hit it off, and that evening, they were going at it hot and heavy. Then the shirt came off. BLAMO!!! There was Satan on her breast!

It’s like there’s a whole generation of girls who want to be guys. Or maybe they were guys and now they’re girls. Like a reincarnation thing. You know, they served in Vietnam or Afghanistan in a past life. They stepped on a mine, and BLAMO!!! DEAD. It was FAST. One minute, they’re infantry, the next minute, they’re an infant.

And now they’re a girl. No wonder so many girls are uncomfortable in their own flesh. Same for the guys who are back from their previous housewife lives. So for the ladies who were general and major, it only seems logical that a service man would want to get back to collecting tats.

Or maybe she was a convict. Bet that inspires abstinence to whoever’s reading this!

George Patton was knowledgeable about reincarnation. Many scriptures detail the circle of life, death, rinse, repeat. Maybe you have dreams about a past life. You’ve been somewhere, and suddenly you get that Matrix Deja Vu wow I could’ve had a V8 kind of feeling.

So the next time you’re chilling with a girl rocking lots of tats, maybe thank her for his previous service to whatever country he served in his past life. Just sayin….

Advertisements

AMERICAN WEREWOLF CAUGHT?!?

WEREWOLF. The word evokes all sorts of emotions. Maybe Fear of being bitten and becoming a Werewolf. Or maybe romance because of all those Twilight teeny monster love novels. Maybe lost livestock. Or Lupis or Lupus. And of course confusion. So while we scratch our heads in complete bafflement trying to figure out why the above wolf-thing fits NO modern wild or domesticated species, let’s check out the HISTORY of the AMERICAN WEREWOLF:

THE HISTORY OF THE WEREWOLF has roots in many cultures dating back to before Rome. One legend tells us about an early Native American tribe in pre-USA Wisconsin. It was here that members of the ‘Fox Tribe’ were the first to receive the presence of the Werewolf.

In this legend, a spirit-god named Wisakachek – ‘Wee-ZA-Kah-Chek’ – was a shape-shifter who lived in the woods.  He was a friend to humans, and his physical form was a wolf. Matter of fact, in some Native American Lore, after Man was created, WOLF was created BEFORE woman, but that’s another story….

One day Wisakachek was walking the woods as a man when he saw two brothers from the Fox tribe hunting.  The Fox boys had just killed a deer.

Wisakachek walked up to the boys and introduced himself as a lost, hungry man from a different tribe.  One Fox boy offered the man some of the deer meat. 

One week later, Wisakachek appeared in the woods again and saw the same Fox boys hunting.  One Fox boy explained that ever since they caught the deer, they had no luck with game, and were very hungry.

Wisakachek, remembering the Fox boys’ generosity, told them he had no meat to give, but he could share with them his POWER. THE POWER to shape-shift into a wolf so they could catch a deer easily.  Then Wisakachek changed into a wolf. Then back into a man again. The Fox boys agreed to share the POWER of the WEREWOLF.

BUT! Wisakachek told the Fox boys they could not hurt any human as a WEREWOLF, only to hunt.

The boys became WEREWOLVES to catch enough deer for their home village.  One day, one Fox boy was in an argument with another normal boy in the village, and in his anger, the WEREWOLF Fox boy turned into a wolf and killed the normal boy.

The village suddenly feared their power, and the WEREWOLF Fox boys were cast out of the tribe and the village.

Wisakachek, the first SPIRIT Werewolf of the wild, was furious at the violent Fox Boy.  He cast a new spell on him so that he would no longer be able to change into a werewolf whenever he wanted to do so.  Every day, the violent Fox Boy would be a man, and every night the violent Fox Boy would transform into a mindless wolf.
 
The calm, humane Fox Boy was allowed to keep his shape-shifting control to WERWOLF.  His name was KEME, and though friendly and good, left by himself into the wilderness.

Fox Boy Matchitehew is the name of the violent WEREWOLF, the father of all human werewolves.
 
Find out MORE about the Montana Werewolf HERE

Search MORE NATIVE AMERICAN LEGENDS HERE

MORE NATIVE AMERICAN HISTORY HERE

WHAT IF IT EXPLODES?!?

OH FRACK! Looks like humans just can’t leave well enough alone! Word is on the conspiracy sites, like the site at this link right here, fracking in Hawaii woke up the big volcano. So now you have Earth Mother relieving its constipation of magma. And as the plates shift, you now have a ginormous pez dispenser of lava and toxic gas. Maybe good for the stratosphere, but not for humans, whom of course, always find a way to F up whatever environment they ‘claim’ for their egocentrics.

So what happens if it explodes….and it will…what can everyone expect? Buh-Bye big island. At least for several years after the big one. The soil will be rich, so yah, it can become habitable again in the late 2020’s.

But when it does happen, all that ash will block out the sun. Then there’s the direction of the explosion. Predictions say it will blow out the East side of the island. That means tsunamis for the west coast of the USA. So if you’re below 50ft above ocean level along the Southern California West Coast, you may want to have your must-haves ready to load in and get to higher ground.

When you do move to higher ground, though, stay off the White House Lawn: They’re already sinking back into the ocean in Washington DC.

You can watch the progress of Kilauea HERE.

Graduation Week – Monster News

Hey! We’re graduating by the seat of our pants this week!
So now we’re going to post a few freakish links and some videos.
Then we’re going to ask for kickstarter money so we can produce a horror slasher with killer klowns. Who’s in?
Senior Prank!!!
Dinosaur Visits New Jersey?!?
Bigfoot Moving into DETROIT?!?

ALIEN TAKE-OVER 50% COMPLETE?!?

YOU are the supreme leader of another world, and YOU want earth. BUT YOU know the STRONGEST of your kind could never beat Diana Ross in a bitch-slap contest. And one pickup truck fulla drunk rednecks could easily squash 100 of your kind no problemo. What do you do?
You just can’t go and start zapping everything, because you know that if Earthlings ever found out that honey bees and doobie smoke has the power to immediately wipe out 70% of all the hostile alien visitors/invaders from this and several dozen galaxies, your alien ass would be toast. You have to be sneaky… gotta have that mind-bending alien plan.
Thank Alien that most of the humans species submit to the rantings of dogma rewritten by constipated old grumps and aliens from the dark ages!

Humans have been primed to submit and serve since they were created by various alien species thousands of years ago. Heck, even Napoleon knew this!
He shut down the aliens in the Catholic Church and even coined the phrase “Religion is excellent stuff for keeping common people quiet. Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.”


So how are you, a rich alien in power, going to take over the world? Or how have you been taking over the world? Interbreed the women and set them forth to mate with the men. And then their kids evolve into YOU. It takes awhile, but the wait is worth the take-over, eh? NOT SO FAST!

Not if we still have honey bees and medical mary jane clinics!

BEHOLD the HUTCHISON EFFECT

While everyone is sucked into a vortex of religious, government and sex news, we miss some spectacular stuff. Like a guy who took his bizarre frequency gun to the Gulf of Mexico a few years back and assisted with oil separation and removal. Or finds a way thru sound to levitate objects. Or creates a how-to for everyone for free clean energy.

Today we salute John Hutchison for making scientific strides that, while constipated academia considers him completely wacko, ironically, the governments and their war machines hunger for his insights and original work with sound and gravity.
( can anyone say HAARP? )

So follow the links to find out more about THE HUTCHISON EFFECT here!

and HERE! BEHOLD!

ICEBERG INVASION and VIKING GHOST SHIPS ?!?

The weather topped the news this past weekend when that Facebook founder guy was upstaged by climate gone CrAzY. Not only did some places get 2 feet of snow in the USA, but ice tornados touched down, temperatures froze highways in seconds, and giant icebergs threatened the Mackinac bridge, closing it down while vikings thawed out of one iceberg and made a hasty getaway.

Now waitaminit: I’ve heard some true stories that put this kind of Lit Lit to shame. But we’re not allowed to report the inflated tall tales and back room testimonies between Marky and the officials whose palms will be sufficiently greased and pockets generously stuffed.

It must be sweet to be able to get away with selling Thor to hot pockets.

We want MySpace back.