ALIEN TAKE-OVER 50% COMPLETE?!?

YOU are the supreme leader of another world, and YOU want earth. BUT YOU know the STRONGEST of your kind could never beat Diana Ross in a bitch-slap contest. And one pickup truck fulla drunk rednecks could easily squash 100 of your kind no problemo. What do you do?
You just can’t go and start zapping everything, because you know that if Earthlings ever found out that honey bees and doobie smoke has the power to immediately wipe out 70% of all the hostile alien visitors/invaders from this and several dozen galaxies, your alien ass would be toast. You have to be sneaky… gotta have that mind-bending alien plan.
Thank Alien that most of the humans species submit to the rantings of dogma rewritten by constipated old grumps and aliens from the dark ages!

Humans have been primed to submit and serve since they were created by various alien species thousands of years ago. Heck, even Napoleon knew this!
He shut down the aliens in the Catholic Church and even coined the phrase “Religion is excellent stuff for keeping common people quiet. Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.”


So how are you, a rich alien in power, going to take over the world? Or how have you been taking over the world? Interbreed the women and set them forth to mate with the men. And then their kids evolve into YOU. It takes awhile, but the wait is worth the take-over, eh? NOT SO FAST!

Not if we still have honey bees and medical mary jane clinics!

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BEHOLD the HUTCHISON EFFECT

While everyone is sucked into a vortex of religious, government and sex news, we miss some spectacular stuff. Like a guy who took his bizarre frequency gun to the Gulf of Mexico a few years back and assisted with oil separation and removal. Or finds a way thru sound to levitate objects. Or creates a how-to for everyone for free clean energy.

Today we salute John Hutchison for making scientific strides that, while constipated academia considers him completely wacko, ironically, the governments and their war machines hunger for his insights and original work with sound and gravity.
( can anyone say HAARP? )

So follow the links to find out more about THE HUTCHISON EFFECT here!

and HERE! BEHOLD!

ICEBERG INVASION and VIKING GHOST SHIPS ?!?

The weather topped the news this past weekend when that Facebook founder guy was upstaged by climate gone CrAzY. Not only did some places get 2 feet of snow in the USA, but ice tornados touched down, temperatures froze highways in seconds, and giant icebergs threatened the Mackinac bridge, closing it down while vikings thawed out of one iceberg and made a hasty getaway.

Now waitaminit: I’ve heard some true stories that put this kind of Lit Lit to shame. But we’re not allowed to report the inflated tall tales and back room testimonies between Marky and the officials whose palms will be sufficiently greased and pockets generously stuffed.

It must be sweet to be able to get away with selling Thor to hot pockets.

We want MySpace back.

GAGA vs. NASIM: SECRET CELEB CLASH?!?

There can only be one GAGA. Diva wars behind the scenes is legendary, and when the turf is tainted by another lioness, thangs can go from chill to crazy psychopathic insane in seconds. FYI: there really IS such a thing as an ‘overnight’ success, especially when your parents are tied in with high power corporate and government. If you’re NOT connected, give up now. You’ll maybe make it to big fish in a small pond. Chances are, you’re blowing your bucks on a dream that WON’T come true.

But then there are those like Nasim Sabz who work their ass off, go days without sleep and push Red Bull stock thru the roof. They publish content that everyone wants to see, except for those in power, especially if they LOOK like someone currently in power. And if you’re pissing off the ‘real deal’, LOOKOUT! PERHAPS such was the fate of Nasime when she fancied the blonde wig that pumped her viewership thru the roof. Despite the crazy Ga-Ga-like image she portrayed in her content, some sources behind the scenes say that Ms. Sabz was a kind-hearted person who would have rather decompressed with a lap cat and a classic book. NOT firearms. But all the good claims and references mean nothing when those in power want you gone.

All of that is nothing compared to witchcraft, HAARP and The Large Hadron Collider at CERN. Put these together and focus them on a location, and BAM! Turns peaceful people into KILLER CLOWNS! Think about it: We know friends who were cut off from nice sums of Youtube payola. BUT They didn’t journey to Youtube with guns, bazookas and burning crosses!

No. Someone in power wanted Nasime gone for good. She was set-up thru hypnosis and negative Middle East Radical Islam profiling. This kind woman met a mind-controlling fate no one deserves. And just because girls wanna have fun and express themselves.

Nobody deserved any part of the YouTube tragedy. Not those victims on the wrong end of the gun, not the victim warped into wielding a firearm, not those who lost their YouTube monetization, and especially the arms dealership with loosey goosey requirements for gun ownership. With such pain and suffering, where’s Jesus and Mighty Mouse when you really need them?

PAUL BUNYAN remodels MALAYSIAN SKYLINE

With the passage of the FAKE NEWS ban in Malaysia, we’re more than certain that many a journalist is reconsidering this destination for vacation. If we’re Mcluvin’ a destination, we’ll hang out for a few weeks and explore, chill with the locals, buy their beer and ghost hunt.
But for 6 years? Willy Weasel is not a fan of being hustled from plane to jail because of a joke piece he wrote in 2006. There ARE destinations out there that WILL look up your social media history and punk you as an example. Just like in that movie Midnight Express. Yah, you could say we’re really, really scurred to visit places with lots of sand. Or where the government changes ‘leadership’ every 38 hours.
Paul Bunyan reminds us that America is still the land of the free with something awesome called the First Amendment. Yah, sure, if you’re a loose cannon like us, there’s a good chance we’ll never be employed by a conservative company. But at least we know secret lynching police mobs won’t lock us away for bad humor and harvest our organs.
Our hat’s off to a government that’s basically structured the same as it’s ever been for 200 years now, doing their best to keep up with a population that’s exploded from 2.5 million in 1776 to 327 million as of last year.

Maybe we need more presidents?
Or maybe we need more Weekly World News?
Like Men In Black say, it’s the REAL news!