When in doubt, CAT.

It’s not like we’ve had content to slather upon your eyes like careless mustard gobs on a stadium dog because you’re too busy watching who’s on first. Or maybe because LaBron and the Big Hurt are too busy out back guzzling Jolt and Test-O-Max. Nor is it because we don’t want a hippopotamus for Christmas or none of the above. No.

Not at all. Perhaps it’s because everyone is now a digital marketer, and unless your butt is perfectly tanned and you have Italian 10-pack abs or 2 huge globes of silicone propping up your chin and rent, you’re a loser. Give up and jump off the bridge.

You are NOT one of the beautiful privileged elite. You DON’T carry a pink chiwawhatever-it-is in your purse nor are you RRRrrrrrrrrr(role of the tongue) ico Suave. ( Gotta dig deep when you pronounce SWA-vaaaay ) No.

What to do? Now that the 5-yr-old next door is punking algorithms for a fortune 500 company and earning more in one week than his baby daddy has in his entire life, WTF do you do?

Nothing.

Because nothing will be the new marketing. The generation after the Millennials will be SO SICK of everything they’ve been FORCED to see, they’ll seek out the unseen. And there you are, sitting on a billion in back stock. Meanwhile, the Gen X’r who’s kept 5 mini storages full of geek glory’s gonna rave on with his nothing business.

Meet me out back at the mini storage shack for that $1000.00 Motley Crue Shout At The Devil original vinyl. And I’ll throw in some notebook p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p- ( say it like the guy in Water World ) paper.

No cats were harmed while writing this post.

 

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AMERICAN WEREWOLF CAUGHT?!?

WEREWOLF. The word evokes all sorts of emotions. Maybe Fear of being bitten and becoming a Werewolf. Or maybe romance because of all those Twilight teeny monster love novels. Maybe lost livestock. Or Lupis or Lupus. And of course confusion. So while we scratch our heads in complete bafflement trying to figure out why the above wolf-thing fits NO modern wild or domesticated species, let’s check out the HISTORY of the AMERICAN WEREWOLF:

THE HISTORY OF THE WEREWOLF has roots in many cultures dating back to before Rome. One legend tells us about an early Native American tribe in pre-USA Wisconsin. It was here that members of the ‘Fox Tribe’ were the first to receive the presence of the Werewolf.

In this legend, a spirit-god named Wisakachek – ‘Wee-ZA-Kah-Chek’ – was a shape-shifter who lived in the woods.  He was a friend to humans, and his physical form was a wolf. Matter of fact, in some Native American Lore, after Man was created, WOLF was created BEFORE woman, but that’s another story….

One day Wisakachek was walking the woods as a man when he saw two brothers from the Fox tribe hunting.  The Fox boys had just killed a deer.

Wisakachek walked up to the boys and introduced himself as a lost, hungry man from a different tribe.  One Fox boy offered the man some of the deer meat. 

One week later, Wisakachek appeared in the woods again and saw the same Fox boys hunting.  One Fox boy explained that ever since they caught the deer, they had no luck with game, and were very hungry.

Wisakachek, remembering the Fox boys’ generosity, told them he had no meat to give, but he could share with them his POWER. THE POWER to shape-shift into a wolf so they could catch a deer easily.  Then Wisakachek changed into a wolf. Then back into a man again. The Fox boys agreed to share the POWER of the WEREWOLF.

BUT! Wisakachek told the Fox boys they could not hurt any human as a WEREWOLF, only to hunt.

The boys became WEREWOLVES to catch enough deer for their home village.  One day, one Fox boy was in an argument with another normal boy in the village, and in his anger, the WEREWOLF Fox boy turned into a wolf and killed the normal boy.

The village suddenly feared their power, and the WEREWOLF Fox boys were cast out of the tribe and the village.

Wisakachek, the first SPIRIT Werewolf of the wild, was furious at the violent Fox Boy.  He cast a new spell on him so that he would no longer be able to change into a werewolf whenever he wanted to do so.  Every day, the violent Fox Boy would be a man, and every night the violent Fox Boy would transform into a mindless wolf.
 
The calm, humane Fox Boy was allowed to keep his shape-shifting control to WERWOLF.  His name was KEME, and though friendly and good, left by himself into the wilderness.

Fox Boy Matchitehew is the name of the violent WEREWOLF, the father of all human werewolves.
 
Find out MORE about the Montana Werewolf HERE

Search MORE NATIVE AMERICAN LEGENDS HERE

MORE NATIVE AMERICAN HISTORY HERE

BEHOLD the HUTCHISON EFFECT

While everyone is sucked into a vortex of religious, government and sex news, we miss some spectacular stuff. Like a guy who took his bizarre frequency gun to the Gulf of Mexico a few years back and assisted with oil separation and removal. Or finds a way thru sound to levitate objects. Or creates a how-to for everyone for free clean energy.

Today we salute John Hutchison for making scientific strides that, while constipated academia considers him completely wacko, ironically, the governments and their war machines hunger for his insights and original work with sound and gravity.
( can anyone say HAARP? )

So follow the links to find out more about THE HUTCHISON EFFECT here!

and HERE! BEHOLD!

DETROIT to SYDNEY in 15 MINUTES!?!?

It would be totally DOPE. I mean, wouldn’t YOU like to visit your Facebook friends on the other side of the world, have that EPIC gathering, beer n’ BBQ, friends on the lake, experiencing the culture, the real thing? Or how about that soul mate you’ve been chatting with for years now? You know, that someone you’ve been saving for the multi-thousand dollar round-trip ticket and that dreaded 56-hour flight on multiple airplanes, jets, junk busses and boats only to be turned away at the border because the new Coup d’état hates everyone from your country. Or worse, they detain you for ransom.
No joke about it, ( yup – a country will check your facebook for crude remarks as an excuse to lock you up ), we live in an isolationist society where love and brotherhood are forbidden to flourish. OMG! What would the aliens in power do if we the people came together as a worldwide community instead of their subdivided isolated new world order?
10 minutes to ascend to point A origin and assign point Z destination. 5 minutes to get to point Z. 5 minutes to landing pad and aircraft power source zero point. 15 minutes ago your anti-grav aircraft departed JFK in NYC. Now you’re in Tokyo, Japan waiting for the pilot to give the OK to remove your seatbelts and gather your overhead luggage. And your ticket was about the same price as train fare from Detroit to Chicago. The power source on your new aircraft is linked in between the sun’s radiation, cosmic energy, and earth’s magnet field.

Why did America rush into WW2? Those German scientists were a hot item. When the USA recon saw the Nazi UFO tech in action, America took it to a whole nuther level to get John Jacob Jingleheimerschmidt and his associates into instant citizenship with perks. And while the powermongers kept billions hypnotized by spending billions to send giant firecrackers to the moon and scare even more billions with cold war and other weapons of mass distraction, we had a functioning Mars base with all the comforts of home by 2001. ( ok, so they DON’T have drive thru and Wal-Mart. Yet. )


So yes, we DID fulfill Stanley’s vision. And not with Pan Am.
Indeed. Everytime we at Crazy Mark TV see a UFO, we don’t gasp in amazement and point on in wonder, fumbling for our cameras to shoot the 100 millionth out-of-focus dot in the sky. Instead we have a shit fit and wonder why we don’t have our 15 minutes from Detroit to Sydney, London, Paris, Barcelona or Dracula’s Castle in Romania.
And to think: by the time you’ve finished gawking this blog, you’ve just about arrived at your destination on the other side of the planet. Even if it’s a flat Earth. But that’s a whole nuther ball – or pancake – of wax.