When in doubt, CAT.

It’s not like we’ve had content to slather upon your eyes like careless mustard gobs on a stadium dog because you’re too busy watching who’s on first. Or maybe because LaBron and the Big Hurt are too busy out back guzzling Jolt and Test-O-Max. Nor is it because we don’t want a hippopotamus for Christmas or none of the above. No.

Not at all. Perhaps it’s because everyone is now a digital marketer.

What to do? Now that the 5-yr-old next door is punking algorithms for a fortune 500 company and earning more in one week than his baby daddy has in his entire life, just what do you do?

Nothing.

Because nothing will be the new marketing. The generation after the Millennials will be SO SICK of everything they’ve been FORCED to see, they’ll seek out the unseen. And there you are, sitting on a billion in back stock. Meanwhile, the Gen X’r who’s kept 5 mini storages full of geek glory’s gonna rave on with his nothing business.

Meet me out back at the mini storage shack for that $1000.00 Stevie Ray original vinyl. And I’ll throw in some notebook p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p- ( say it like the guy in Water World ) paper.

No cats were harmed while writing this post.

And THANK YOU to Mr. Tom for taking my nonsensical dictation and getting it published to the web!

 

TATTOOS and REINCARNATION: WELCOME BACK SERGEANT.

Grandpa told me when I was a kid: Two types of people have Tattoos (1) Convicts (2) Military.

With ink culture growing among 60% of ALL girls/women in America as they purchase visible tattoos compared to 40% of ALL men, we have to stop the bus and take 5. I mean, really. Is there some sort of alien acid trip shift going on with the sexes?

It’s like there’s a whole generation of girls who want to be guys. Or maybe they were guys and now they’re girls. Like a reincarnation thing. You know, they served in Vietnam or Afghanistan in a past life. They stepped on a mine, and BLAMO!!! DEAD. It was FAST. One minute, they’re infantry, the next minute, they’re an infant.

And now they’re a girl. No wonder so many girls are uncomfortable in their own skin. Same for the guys who are back from their previous housewife lives. So for the ladies who were general and major, it only seems logical that a service man would want to get back to collecting tats.

Or maybe she was a convict. Bet that inspires abstinence to whoever’s reading this!

George Patton was knowledgeable about reincarnation. Many scriptures detail the circle of life, death, rinse, repeat. Maybe you have dreams about a past life. You’ve been somewhere, and suddenly you get that Matrix Deja Vu wow I could’ve had a V8 kind of feeling.

So the next time you’re chilling with a girl rocking lots of tats, maybe thank her for his previous service to whatever country he served in his past life. Just sayin….

WHAT IF IT EXPLODES?!?

OH FRACK! Looks like humans just can’t leave well enough alone! Word is on the conspiracy sites, like the site at this link right here, fracking in Hawaii woke up the big volcano. So now you have Earth Mother relieving its constipation of magma. And as the plates shift, you now have a ginormous pez dispenser of lava and toxic gas. Maybe good for the stratosphere, but not for humans, whom of course, always find a way to bungle whatever environment they ‘claim’ for their egocentrics.

So what happens if it explodes….and it will…what can everyone expect? Buh-Bye big island. At least for several years after the big one. The soil will be rich, so yah, it can become habitable again in the late 2020’s.

But when it does happen, all that ash will block out the sun. Then there’s the direction of the explosion. Predictions say it will blow out the East side of the island. That means tsunamis for the west coast of the USA. So if you’re below 50ft above ocean level along the Southern California West Coast, you may want to have your must-haves ready to load in and get to higher ground.

When you do move to higher ground, though, stay off the White House Lawn: They’re already sinking back into the ocean in Washington DC. Cherry tree anyone?

You can watch the progress of Kilauea HERE.

ICEBERG INVASION and VIKING GHOST SHIPS ?!?

The weather topped the news this past weekend when that Facebook founder guy was upstaged by climate gone CrAzY. Not only did some places get 2 feet of snow in the USA, but ice tornados touched down, temperatures froze highways in seconds, and giant icebergs threatened the Mackinac bridge, closing it down while vikings thawed out of one iceberg and made a hasty getaway.

Now waitaminit: I’ve heard some true stories that put this kind of Lit Lit to shame. But we’re not allowed to report the inflated tall tales and back room testimonies between Marky and the officials whose palms will be sufficiently greased and pockets generously stuffed.

It must be sweet to be able to get away with selling Thor to hot pockets.

We want MySpace back.

A Legendary Question

You’ve heard it, right? Everyone has heard the timeless keyboard hook and melody on the radio, in the movies and on TV. The groove grabs you in the first 5 seconds, and then *POW*: Question Mark’s vocals bring it all together on ’96 Tears’, ‘I Need Somebody’ and “Can’t Get Enough of You Baby”. There it is! I see the ‘oh yah’ in your eyes – you saw the videos. Yes, Question Mark is indeed a godfather of rock n’ roll. And he wants you to visit his web site

96tears.net.

Do it today. Go visit your godfather of rock n’ roll. He DOES answer emails and messages from time to time, so YES: You may receive a special message from the Question. Want to score extra credit points in Groovy?

CLICK HERE Go join Question Mark’s Facebook Page!

Where Wolf sez

AROOOOO!!! Hey human! You just stumbled upon a dangerous place. I mean, I could bite your fingers off right now, but I guess I’ll cut you a break. Hey! You like grilling? There’s nothing like char-broiled small talk, and YouTube’s pants are on fire. Did you get one of those bully letters from youtube telling you how much of a loser you are? You girly-creator….how DARE you call yourself a youtuber all plastic and pretentious. Makes me wanna go werewolfy on someone. Well, ok, maybe not that drastic. And then let’s take our business to Twitch, Daily Motion, Veoh, Vimeo, Periscope, Tik Tok and whatever new app is rocking the iPad universe.

BTW

Visit my Wolfy the Wolf Facebook page